The Feeling of Alive.

The Feeling of Alive.

My mother recently gave me a gift—the view into a time passed.  A photo of my sister (right) and I (left), she age 3 and me age 2.  Since receiving I have been thinking about this image. My mom digitalized all the old “slides” from the 1970’s.  I remember watching from the old projector with a loud clicking round tray holding individual slides, a light bulb casting the image on the wall. While seeing these a handful of times over the years, I didn’t remember the early childhood photos.

I kept going back to look at this photo.  What captured my attention is the look on our faces. The Emotion -the joy, the smiles, the bouncing hair from dancing. This is Alive. What does it take for us as older people to feel this way?

I have felt physically Alive after cycling 102 miles or when I hung with the pack on a 50 mile road race. That was a feeling of physical aliveness. I feel mentally Alive when I have pushed myself to learn something new, expanding my mind, or a new mental task. Last year I read a 1,087 page (small print!) book for pleasure. That is the longest book I’ve ever read. Something small but new and it felt good. Or a greater mental accomplishment was the discipline for ten months reading Og Mandino’s Scrolls three times per day- morning, noon and night.

But an even more important aspect I discovered recently is the feeling of being Alive in my soul. What I found while working on a creative project to help a little girl I met in Cuba, I was following my heart, being led by faith, and pursing the cross, I found the feeling of Alive.

I was inspired to help someone. And for months, little by little, spending time over photos, from a start point of an idea, asking, not knowing, seeking, exploring, being frustrated, having road blocks, keeping going, persevering, taking time—a discovery process and sense of accomplishment. Somewhere in the midway point of this project, my spiritual journey growing, dining room table covered in prints, papers, ideas, I had the bubbling up of a new feeling—it was the sense of Alive. My soul and spirit was talking to me- a soft assurance that bubbled up… Alive.  What a discovery. This was one of my 3 words that had spoke to me over four months ago in January 2016- Live, Breathe, Alive.  Yes- I am finding You. No more hiding. This brings me a feeling of my soul and spirit being ALIVE. From the inner for the outer to shine. ”This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.”  I am trying to fully shine.

Maybe I’m feeling this more “Alive” because I’ve been so selfish for most of my life. Sure, I helped people in my twenty-year plus career in human resources and yes, I gave money to charities here and there, but what did I…me… Amy, solely do, act upon, create something of value, to help another?

I think it takes us pushing our own self to feel the power of Alive. I think it takes us following faith, helping another person, doing something to make a difference, with nothing asked in return for our spirit and soul to come Alive. What makes you feel Alive? What are you finding? What are you doing that makes your spirit come Alive?

Live. Breathe. Alive. blog. Here I will share posts about life, love, and what I am learning to help others. Sharing and using the voice I have to help.